Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
