Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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