i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
