Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
