so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
