Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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