I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
