Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
did you just send me my own nude
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
