This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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