I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
