I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
