she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
