This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
