i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
