Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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