you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
