wanna go halves on a baby?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
