Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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