The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
