before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
