Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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