we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
