i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
