It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
