Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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