I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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