dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
