I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
whose parrot is this?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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