She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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