it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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