ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize