I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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