so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
