he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
