Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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