News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
third nipple confirmed
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
