I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
