what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
