I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
