Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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