Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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