pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think I died a long time ago.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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