Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
