ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
