Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
