is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish my penis had an off switch
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
