What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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