please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
