What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
