he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
