He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
