I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
